After having sent out a bunch of resumes and online applications over a three-day period, I decided to take that Wednesday after my dismissal and start digging into another option – the blogging option.  And what better place to start putting things down than to relive the “big day” when your world gets turned upside down, huh?

It all came back to me easily enough, but there’s nothing easy at all about reliving it in your mind, putting it down into words.  It just brings back those feelings like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster – and, man, what a wild ride that rollercoaster is!  Like the lyrics to a song by the progressive rock band Yes, “Close To The Edge” … I get up, I get down, I get up, I get dooooooowwwwnnnnnn.

Or, to borrow the title of another Yes tune from one of the great Steve Howe’s guitar solos, I was experiencing “moods for a day.”  I was experiencing many of them, all in one day.

It wasn’t just me who was going through that rollercoaster ride.  My wife Amy was going through some mighty serious ups and downs as well.  Mornings seemed to be the hardest for me.  I’d start out feeling low, gather some faith, and talk Amy through times later when she’d be feeling low with fright.  It would go back and forth, one to the other.

“This is where we have to support each other.  This is where we have to be strong for each other,” I told her.

But I poured it all out on the “termination day” experience in my first shot at a blog entry, polished it up a bit, and then went off to the rec center with my youngest son to work out some of those feelings on the exercise bike and the weight machines.

As luck would have it, though, even going to work out didn’t provide all the relief I was hoping it would.  I had just emailed a resume the night before to an old co-worker of mine who had gotten a job as a contractor at Hill Air Force Base, so he could pass my resume along to his boss.  And there I was, peddling on a stationary bike, looking up at a silent bank of about eight television sets attached to the wall with closed captioning enabled on each one of them, and I saw a breaking news flash from one of the local stations.


“Oh, that’s just great!  When does this crap ever end?” I thought.

I continued on with my workout, ended up feeling good and exercised, but that rollercoaster of emotions was in a down mode after seeing that news.  I went home and turned on another local station to see their 5 p.m. newscast, announcing the news on the Hill base again of a bunch of civilian jobs being cut.  I texted my friend who works there who’d passed along my resume to see if his job, at least, was safe.  And I waited to hear back from him.

Meanwhile, I went back to take another look at my very first blog entry, made a few changes, and instant messaging on Facebook started humming with messages from the old co-worker of mine who’s a manager at the regional office of American Express.  She’d been talking to another old co-worker of mine from about 15 years ago whose husband works in the state’s IT department … no leads there yet, but I’d started looking there myself and would continue to do so.  She kept feeding me places to look for contracting jobs or places to become a salaried employee, bless her heart.  She was trying very hard to help out.  We chatted a bit about the cutbacks at the Hill air base, and just when we started doing that I was texted back by our old co-worker friend there to say that his area didn’t appear to be affected by the cutbacks.  Whew!  Still perhaps some glimmer of hope!  The rollercoaster was heading up!  For the time being, at least.

There was some serious networking going on all of a sudden.  But, hey, that’s what it takes … right?


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